New E-motion picture teaches us to embrace all of our emotions
I recently had the opportunity to see Disney Pixar’s latest animated feature, ‘Inside Out’. I didn’t need much prompting, given that it IS a movie about feelings, and well, as a psychologist, it was an easy sell! It did not disappoint.
Here’s a quick synopsis of the film’s premise before I share my experience of it! An 11-year old girl named Riley, moves cross-country with her family. A move is a huge transition, especially at such an impressionable age, and she experiences a gamut of emotions as she leaves her home, friends, and hockey league behind. Enter the main characters, Riley’s feelings: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust who provide a glimpse into the workings of Riley’s mind as she navigates this life-changing experience.
From the moment it started, I couldn’t contain my excitement. The nerd in me was blown away at the extraordinary way in which many of the movie’s messages “measured up” from a neuro-scientific perspective. For example, the way a day full of short-term/working memories is then consolidated during sleep.
While the film gave up some scientific integrity for the sake of storytelling (i.e., conveying parts of Riley’s personality as destructible islands) its poetic license didn’t drive too far away from the reality that we are, essentially, made up of personality traits that wax and wane in prominence during different points in our life and under different circumstances.
Beyond the intricate science of it all, what ‘Inside Out’ did do so well was to provide the empowering message about how to understand, connect to, and accept our feelings and memories in a way that is conducive to thriving…to kicking butt at life!
Here are 5 ways I feel it did this:
- ALL of our emotions exist for a purpose
Emotions are neither inherently good nor bad, and to think of them in such dichotomous terms is to do oneself a disservice. Emotions just are. In fact, every emotion tells us something about our inner experience that might be informing our outer experience.
In fact, Rumi, the Sufi poet, waxed poetic in his ‘The Guest House’ (see below) a long time ago about how we should treat every emotion as a visitor, without looking to get rid of any of them, rather to understand their message and purpose.
What Rumi alluded to in his writing, was also recently confirmed by research that indicates that well-being is actually predicated on having a wider range of emotions! Yes, that’s correct, the more you can feel, in all of feeling’s iterations, the better off you are.
- To have emotion is to have a compass
The importance of every emotion is a good segue to this next idea, which again, the movie illustrates with beautiful clarity. Having emotions are much healthier, productive, and adaptive then not feeling at all. In the movie, Joy tried to have Sadness stay as far away from Riley as possible.
Although she felt other emotions, including anger, the inability to feel sadness, coupled with her mother’s request for Riley to stay happy, ultimately lead to a cold and numb existence. This state only generated poor judgment and unhealthy choices. It wasn’t until she allowed herself (SPOILER ALERT: rather, until Depression got back to HEADquarters) to feel sadness that Riley was able to see more clearly and reach out for support.
- Our realities AND memories are filtered through our emotional lens
Just like our present reality is seen through the framework of our past experience, the memories we look back upon are colored by our present-moment experience. In Riley’s case, she recalled a championship hockey game several times during the movie. At one point she remembers missing the winning shot and feeling sad about it. At another point, she literally remembers the same moment, but this time, she recalls smiling as she is championed by her teammates who pick her up onto their shoulders to let her know how valuable she is to the team. Same memory, the only difference being that it was recalled through a sad lens, and then through a lens of joy.
This is a very powerful idea. What we really “need” to remember is that our memories are a part of our personal narrative, but that in many ways, we construct the narrative we believe. We can CHANGE our story at any time. We can’t delete certain paragraphs that ooze with negative facts and daunting realities. We can’t cut out chapters that we rather have not had. They will always be there, and that’s ok. Research suggests that the actual experiences we have are less impactful than the story we tell ourselves about them.
- Having the language to talk about emotions is empowering
Probably the most remarkable part of the movie is its existence as an E-motion picture ;). As long as more than a modicum of scientific integrity exists, whether or not science was upheld to the nth degree doesn’t really matter. What’s important is that an illustration of the concept of emotion can now be reflected in the dialogue we have with our children.
I am a big believer that this kind of dialogue can’t be started early enough! If children learn earlier on to embrace the way they feel, that it’s not just ok, but crucial to feel all of their emotions, we can hope to see more adjusted adolescents and adults. Really, though, animation aside, this movie’s target audience is feasibly all of humanity. Why? Because to have the language to talk about our emotions, all of its iterations, is to be empowered with an ability to learn from them, to respond to them with the utmost of compassion and less judgment.
- Feeling our emotions is a universal human experience
Pixar knew what it was doing when it used 5 scientifically validated universal emotions, a la Dr. Paul Eckman’s work (the 6th universal emotion is surprise). Through his research he showed that certain emotions are felt and expressed through universal facial expressions across cultures around the world. And so, the movie reminds us of our intrinsic humanity, how similar we all actually are despite our differences.
This is a very powerful idea, especially in the wake of discriminations based on skin color and/or gender/sexual identity. At the end of the day, no matter who you are, you experience the capacity for the same gamut of emotions. Therefore, if we can realize that we are all just fighting our own hard battles, we might show up in this world with more compassion and less judgment.
The Guest House
Every morning a new arrival.
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Click here to download a special ‘Inside Out: Guided viewing with BrainCurves’ question sheet to help start the conversation with your children, loved ones, or even yourself, about how you connect with your emotions and memories in your daily life.
Dr. Jen’s ‘Inside Out’ Movie Discussion Guide
Have you seen ‘Inside Out’? What were your takeaways from the film? Please share them in a comment.
Let’s embrace ALL of our emotions and BrainCurves!
– Dr. Jen