Here are five digestible bytes of well-regarded facts, opinions, and ideas about mindfulness meditation’s ability to lead to greater well-being!
1. Reframe the Experience of Pain:
Mindfulness meditation’s ability to provide pain relief can be done by cultivating the ability to parse between the objective sensory dimension of pain and the more subjective judgement that we attach to the pain and the way that we interpret it mentally.
A recent and groundbreaking review looked at 20 randomized control trials examining the effects of mindfulness meditation on the immune system. In reviewing the research, the authors found that mindfulness meditation “Reduced markers of inflammation, high levels of which are often correlated with decreased immune functioning and disease.”
Mindfulness meditation also increased the number of CD-4 cells, which are the immune system’s helper cells involved in destroying infections. There was also increased telomerase activity which helps promote the stability of chromosomes and prevent their deterioration (telomerase deterioration leads to cancer and premature aging).
Deregulation of the brain areas associated with emotional regulation and memory are key contributors to the symptoms associated with PTSD. In addition, an over-activity in the brain’s fear center, the amygdala, can be found in those suffering from Trauma-related disorders. Mindfulness reverses these patterns by increasing prefrontal and hippocampal activity, and toning down the amygdala.
In fact, brain scans confirm that mindfulness meditation is correlated with an increase in gray matter in the hippocampus, a decrease of gray matter in the amygdala, and neuroimaging studies have found that mindfulness meditation also helps to activate the Pre-frontal Cortex.
Dr. Elizabeth Hoge, a psychiatrist at the Center for Anxiety and Traumatic Stress Disorders at Massachusetts General Hospital and an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says that mindfulness meditation makes perfect sense for treating anxiety. “People with anxiety have a problem dealing with distracting thoughts that have too much power,” she explains. “They can’t distinguish between a problem-solving thought and a nagging worry that has no benefit.” Mindfulness meditation cultivates the ability to be more discerning. Subsequently, we can use the opportunity to take action on the problem solving, and to see the worry without judgment and more compassion.
In every situation, we can choose to REACT from a place of fear and perhaps anger, or RESPOND more mindfully.
Reacting is a reflexive, and sometimes impulsive, way to behave in a situation. It’s not adaptive and often leads to increased stress and tension. In contrast, responding is a more mindful approach to any given situation. But in order to respond in lieu of reacting, we need to STOP:
Stop.
Take a breath.
Observe.
Proceed (more mindfully).
Just ONE extra moment to take a step back, regroup, and consider a healthier response can make a huge difference.
The bottom line seems to be that mindfulness meditation can help us live our best lives.
What’s your experience with mindfulness meditation? Have you noticed any of these benefits? I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, experiences, feedback, and questions!
It is officially the holiday season! During this time of year there can be so much pressure that unfortunately the joy, magic, and meaning of the season is lost, often replaced by stress. Especially now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, it is hard to ignore the almost instantaneous rush of frenetic energy that ensues as we near the close of the calendar year.
It is more than possible though to not only survive the holiday season, but to even thrive and connect to your particular observance in a deeper and more profound way. Here are some common stressors that pop up this time this year, and mindful antidotes to help you through the discomfort.
1) Demands on Time
In December, our schedules often fill up quickly with work and personal holiday parties. These back-to-back parties start to feel overwhelming as we try to juggle them with all of our other commitments.
Also, creating the holiday experience we desire for our loved ones and ourselves takes planning. It often starts to feel like we are chickens running around with no heads collecting recipes, buying and wrapping gifts, inviting guests, hosting, traveling, cooking, cleaning, buying trees (or menorahs!), and decorating.
Antidote: Treat yourself!
You do not need to say yes to everything. Giving and giving without stopping is not an altruistic notion. It is important to be mindful of when we might need refueling and to allow that to happen. Self-care can mean many things, but it can be as simple as a night to ourselves that includes a bath and a good meal—cooked by someone else!
2) Loneliness During the Holidays
There is an immense amount of pressure to please the people we love with the gifts that we think they will love. Instead of a joyful endeavor, gift giving becomes a chore, and we often become resentful and unloved if we do not receive something equally meaningful in return.
Pressure can also manifest by way of the longing to spend the holidays with those we love, and those we desire to love. For many, this may create feelings of loneliness.
Antidote: Donate your time to help those less fortunate.
The holidays are a particularly poignant time to practice the art of compassion, to think of others needs before our own. There is great opportunity to give to, and establish meaningful connections with, those who don’t have as many resources as we do. Giving doesn’t have to be monetary or a physical gift. Giving comes in many forms, including smiles, time, and emotional support.
3) Expectations of Perfection
This time of year is ripe with the expectations we put upon ourselves to get it just “right.” Things have to look, taste, feel, and be a certain way. We start to get into this mind space where things have to be perfect, which of course, is not possible. It’s how we deal with this realization that determines our well-being.
While it is nice to take the time to create a mindful, aesthetically, and gustatorily pleasing experience, we often get caught up in the trap of perfection. Not only does this make the holiday journey feel less joyful, but we also set ourselves up to experience a lot of disappointment.
Antidote: Reflect on the meaning of the holidays.
It is hard to stop and smell the roses at any time of year, and it is especially easy to get caught up in the commercial version of what the holiday season means today. But taking the time to mindfully reflect on what matters, whether it be our religion or tradition, or even the healing power of love, helps us to keep our perspective as the year draws to a close.
4) The Indulge/Guilt Cycle
We often seem to let all notions of wellness and health fall by the wayside during this time of year. The problem is not only are we not staying healthy, but we are also setting ourselves up for feelings of guilt and self-deprecation.
A thriving life depends on moderation, and this concept particularly applies when we are inundated with mass amounts of food and drink. By eating mindfully, we can keep our minds, bodies, and brains healthy without the self-defeating thoughts of “we are so bad” “we are so fat,” etc.
Antidote:Take time to enjoy all the flavors of the holiday season.
There are five (A,B,C,D,E) basic ways to begin a mindful eating practice:
1. Ask
Why am I eating now?
What am I eating now?
What else am I doing now that may be distracting?
2. Be grateful
3. Chew, and then chew again
4. Dine (don’t just eat)
5. Engage your attention
5) Stress: Family Anxiety
Family stress shows up in many ways. This has taken on a new tone this year, given that many families made different political choices.
While there might actually be very real difficulties surrounding the interpersonal dynamics of our family, we sometimes get caught up in fuelling the fire, rather than abating it.
However, most of the stress and anxiety around family is often anticipatory. Based on not-so-pleasant past experiences, combined with the upcoming impending mix of different personalities, we start to worry about family dysfunction rearing its ugly head. While there might actually be very real difficulties surrounding the interpersonal dynamics of our family, we sometimes get caught up in fuelling the fire, rather than abating it.
Antidote: Engage in gratitude.
Take the time to step back and bear witness to all that you have, to count your blessings, as they say. Gratitude goes a long way when it comes to overall wellness. During this time of year, a sense of gratitude can easily fall by the wayside as indulgence and the idea of “more” and “merrier” are front and center.
So, while in the midst of the tumult of the holiday season, try to re-center by consciously being grateful for the multiple aspects of this season, and our loved ones, that we are blessed to engage with.
Love is a construct that has been the subject of (and muse for) many artistic, poetic and philosophical gestures since humanity existed, almost like a preoccupation. Yet, what is it about love that elicits such a universal outpouring of sentiment? What IS this love that permeates our heart, minds, and souls-our dreams, our fantasies, our imaginations? Many psychologists and even neuroscientists have posited many different models of what love is and isn’t, which often include our neurochemistry.
Here’s what we know in a nutshell: There is no single definition or way to explain what love is. It’s a visceral emotion that is often unpredictable, overwhelming, and indescribable.
As a psychologist in clinical practice, many of my clients struggle with all different kinds of questions for cupid, but most focus on how to build healthy romantic relationships. A relationship is a coming together to express and engage in love that is shared.
Love, as we know, is mostly intangible, but a relationship is a tangible reflection of the love experienced by two people. If we understand our relationships, we are equipped to notice the nature of our love, and to ascertain whether or not it is serving us. Some relationships are healthy. Others are toxic.
How can we differentiate between a healthy vs. toxic relationship?
There are many differences, but here are some standout clues to better understand the nature of your current relationship or even a future one.
DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER:
1. Share Dreams or Lose Dreams?
In a healthy relationship, there is support for one’s own dreams, and a union or coming together of shared ones. In a toxic relationship, individual dreams are surrendered and sacrificed for the other. A relationship like this takes and takes, instead of nurturing and cultivating. The toxicity becomes paramount when we can no longer find our own voice.
2. Give to Give or Give to Get?
In a healthy relationship, both people desire to give to one another without any expectation of something in return. Giving is an act of love and an act of trust, as in “I am unconditionally here for you”. In a toxic relationship, giving is usually a way to get something back; there always needs to be a return investment. A price must be made to be cared for, as needs are only met with expectation of reciprocal benefit.
3. Seek To Know or Seek To Change?
In a healthy relationship, there is a desire to truly know one another each day on a more intimate level. Yet, knowing someone deeply, means knowing their vulnerabilities, and in a healthy context, the knowing is paired with wholehearted nonjudgmental acceptance. In a toxic relationship, the goal is not on knowing someone, but on changing someone to conform to a certain projection or a non-existent ideal.
4. Fight to Repair or Fight for Revenge?
Every relationship has some conflict. In fact, conflict if often a sign of passion and commitment as opposed to indifference. In a healthy relationship, conflict is a chance to grow toward one another, and to genuinely create a more effective and loving dyad. In a toxic relationship, conflict is not genuine, nor is it growth oriented. Every conflict becomes an opportunity for payback, revenge, blame, manipulation, control and rejection.
5. Create Privacy or Betray Privacy?
In a healthy relationship, there is a sense of sacredness. There is a “space” that is off limits to anyone else but you two. It is the unspoken nuances of your relationship’s inner life. This includes going that extra mile to protect your partner’s vulnerabilities. In a toxic relationship, nothing feels sacred. Private intimate moments and shared experiences are unprotected and visible to anyone. Weaknesses and vulnerabilities are mockingly exposed to the outside world.
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Make Valentine’s Day an opportunity to strengthen your healthy relationship, or become more aware of a toxic one. If you aren’t clear, ask a more objective party or even a therapist. Although love can’t truly be defined, keep in mind that relationships are tangible expressions of the quality of love you are experiencing.
What are your thoughts about other ways to differentiate between healthy and toxic relationships? What are your thoughts about love and relationships in general? Look forward to YOUR comments…Let’s start an important conversation!!!
